It’s a Funny Old Game

Picture Tottenham’s fans at the start of this season.

Everything is just great. They can dream of the riches that this season promises to bring - a new addition to their potent strikeforce, a promising French defender joining up with their sturdy defence, and a team that is ready to blossom after a highly encouraging fifth-place finish last year.

Picture them now.

Spurs only points have come against mighty Derby - a team so talented and ambitious, they would be happy to settle for 17th place this year. They have a manager who is odds-on to leave his post, whether it is by choice or not, and a goalkeeper who has been possessed by the spirit of Massimo Taibi.

The Gods have conspired against Spurs again this weekend - handing them a daunting trip to champions Manchester United, who are shockingly winless this season and behind Tottenham in the table.

Here’s the weekend preview…

Saturday

Sunderland v Liverpool (12.45)

After Sunderland’s impressive start, the wheels rather came off Keano’s bandwagon last weekend with a crushing defeat at Wigan. They face a very formidable Liverpool side without their injured captain Dean Whitehead, who will be a sore miss. Liverpool will be reminiscent of a wounded animal after Rob Styles’ antics on Sunday - and Sunderland might just be on the receiving end of their anguish. Gerrard may miss out, but Torres and co. will have too much class and firepower for Keane’s men.

Prediction: Sunderland 0 - 2 Liverpool

Arsenal v Man City

Sven Goran-Eriksson clashes with Arsene Wenger - sounds like a Pay-Per-View Chess match. City’s astonishing form gives them a chance at the Emirates, but this is another tough test after last week’s Derby victory. Arsenal, fresh from being roughed up by Blackburn on Sunday, will be looking to build on their sold start. Wenger claimed “Blackburn used violence” in that game, and with the physical presence of Richards, Dunne and Stephen Ireland (!), City might just nick something. But I can’t see it.

Prediction: Arsenal 2- 1 Man City

Derby v Birmingham 

I was gutted that this game wasn’t the showpiece TV showing this weekend. This is a relegation six-pointer, what are Sky and Setanta thinking?! I don’t think I’m ever going to predict a Derby win this year, but Birmingham at home is about as close as it will come. The Blues aren’t the best, but Derby are nothing short of woeful. One to avoid.

Prediction: Derby 1 - 1 Birmingham

Bolton v Reading

Bolton’s changing room doesn’t look like it’s glowing with positivity at the moment - El-Hadj Diouf and Nicolas Anelka are having a face-off to see who can be crowned the ultimate whinger. They need their father figure Sam Allardyce back. Sammy Lee is more like an annoying little brother. Bolton are too good to go down (oh god, that’s a doomed cliche from past years. See: West Ham 2003) and they could pick up their first point against Steve Coppell’s Reading.

Prediction: Bolton 1 - 1 Reading 

West Ham v Wigan

I was one of many who questioned Wigan’s prospects in the league this season. I guess we underestimated Antoine Sibierski - currently the best player in England - according to YTM. 27 points. Hang on, that can’t be right…. Sibierski? When does that transfer window open? £3million and listed in midfield. Think we can close the book on bargain of the season. West Ham’s squad list is impressive, while Wigan’s spirit has seen them rocket up the table. Tough one to call, but the Londoners could edge it.

Prediction: West Ham 3 - 2 Wigan

Aston Villa v Fulham

Villa haven’t scored from open play this season, while Fulham’s David Healy could shank a left-footed swing and it would find it’s way into the top corner. However, even he’ll do well to breach Villa’s cold-blooded Scandanavian centre-half pairing, Laursen and Mellberg. Villa were resolute when holding Newcastle last week, and their no nonsense approach could be enough to break down an average Fulham team. Speaking of which, welcome back the US of A’s finest - former Leicester City hero Kasey Keller! He’ll be looking to keep Villa from scoring any Touchdowns in the End Zone.

Prediction: Aston Villa 1 - 0 Fulham 

Chelsea v Portsmouth

There’s a crisis at Stamford Bridge - their best player is missing this weekend. No one has seen Rob Styles since his imperious display at Anfield for Mourinho’s men. He should be back next week, heaven forbid. Portsmouth are described beautifully by the word ‘Stubborn’. They are well organised (Redknapp, Adams and Jordan form the coaching staff - so it’s hardly unexpected), and create plenty of chances at the other end. They’ll cause Chelsea problems - but not enough to get any points.

 Prediction: Chelsea 1 - 0 Portsmouth

Everton v Blackburn (17.15)

Two of the Premiership’s most solid teams clash in what could be a very informative game at Goodison Park. Both David Moyes and Mark Hughes will be looking to finish in the elusive top-six this season, and I reckon the men from Lancashire could nick all three points in this evening game. Expect Santa Cruz, Roberts and McCarthy to create problems for the Merseysiders, while Robbie Savage will do his best to impersonate a headless chicken. Effective, though.

Prediction: Everton 1 -2 Blackburn 

Sunday

Middlesbrough v Newcastle (13.30)

A derby match to relish - and the kind of game which Sam Allardyce will thrive on. Newcastle’s tough backline will give them licence to roam forward this season, and I have a feeling they’ll be more effective away from home. Villa’s negative approach stumped them at St. James’s Park last week, but they’ll have more space at the Riverside which their pacey team can capitalise on. Boro got a great result at Fulham last week, but it was mainly thanks to Tony “I’ve got a hole in my gloves” Warner and a blind linesman who is currently on holiday with Mr Styles in Bognor.

Prediction: Middlesbrough 0 - 2 Newcastle 

Manchester United v Tottenham (16.00)

Arguably the season’s two biggest under-achievers meet at Old Trafford on Sunday. Expect some serious repercussions for whoever loses this one. This will be an almighty test of Tottenham’s spirit - but some teams have a habit of finding their best form when their backs are against the wall. We’ll know a lot more about Tottenham’s desire at 6 o’clock on Sunday. They clearly have an abundance of talent, but they’ll need every ounce of it against the reigning champions. Tevez can put last week’s nightmare behind him and inspire his new team to their first win of the season.

Prediction: Man Utd 2 - 0 Tottenham 

Stay tuned to the blog and YTM website as this weekend’s games will crown our first Manager of the Month - who will be the recipient of a cool £10,000.

Peace and fellow managerial love.

Matt H @ YTM